let's face it, two-year-olds get a bad rap. i happen to think it is a bit unjustified.

ok, the tantrums like the one roman pitched outside on the crowded sidewalk in front of bi-rite creamery – prostrate on a filthy doorstep with both legs flailing because his sister asked to taste his ice cream – are a particularly uncomfortable for all involved, but i assert that the cuteness factor can nearly cancel out the badness. maybe with the exception of cat torture.

but i just love this phase. specifically, i get a kick out of the language development. parker virtually emerged from the womb articulate and conversant. so, with roman (who refers to himself as a "little dude"), it is so funny and adorable to witness his communication gaffes as he tries to master language.

up until a month ago he would say "key-cuz" instead of "because," and to the stifled laughter of adults, he still refers to things that are crunchy as "cuntz," and to clocks as cocks. he named his favorite stuffed toy, a monster, "cheese."

this morning he was in rare form. apparently, dan left out a swag bag from the doug stanhope party at the montreal just for laughs festival. roman, an early riser who often entertains himself solo with matchbox cars and the fisher-price town salvaged from my childhood, rose at 5:30am and found the goody bag and my "good" scissors.

he was particularly animated when he woke me by drooling into my mouth. when i got into the front room, there were bits of shreddings over the couch. among the detritus were, slivers of band-aids, a packet of blistex, a bright orange condom, and an empty sample pack of jolt "caffeine energy" gum. he had eaten it. two pieces of caffeine gum. and he was totally hilarious.

ok, bad parenting aside, you have to laugh at that shit.